As you can tell from the title this may be a post that some of you don’t want to read… so don’t! I am failing to be productive today and want so record some of my thoughts on this topic as I would do in my journal.
Before I had Chloe Peter and I would go to Barnes and Noble for many of our “date nights” (it’s free!) and just read. I researched a TON about pregnancy and child birth, nursing, postpartum, etc. It seemed that everything was pretty much pro natural, but I did find some good stuff that seemed unbiased. I don’t remember why I ultimately decided I would do an epidural (one of my sister’s with experience in this area probably told me I was crazy not to), but I did decide beforehand I wanted one.
My labor and delivery with Chloe went great! It was a total of eight hours from my first real contraction to when she was in my arms. After we arrived at the hospital and I was checked (and only at 2 cm) the midwife on call said, “You’re having really intense contractions so I think this will be fast. Do you want an epidural?” I wasn’t expecting this but I was like sure give it to me!
I was nervous about getting it, but it all went really smoothly and was less painful than I thought it would be. I made sure I held very still and I made a mental image of me Peter and our baby to be at the beach and focused on that. It worked great for me! With the epidural in place and working all we had to do was wait. My labor did slow when I got the epidural so they put me on pitocin which sped things up. When it did come time to push I had enough feeling that I could tell and I knew exactly when to push but felt no pain, so for me it was probably the best epidural experience you could have as far as that was concerned.
HOWEVER… I really didn’t like anything else about it. I hated feeling so numb from the waste down. I was cold and very shaky for much of the labor and had to use an oxygen mask while pushing. I hated not being able to use the bathroom after and having to have a catheter. When the numbness did wear off enough I could get up I came the closest to passing out I’ve ever been. The worst pain I felt my whole delivery was when a nurse ripped (literally riiipped) the tape off my back that was holding the epidural in place. I was SO glad to not be in pain for labor, but I really didn’t like the epidural.
So here I am halfway there with the second baby and the wheels in my head are churning “hmm… maybe I should try natural.” Then I’ll talk to someone who has gone natural and change my mind. Then I’ll read something online about how natural is the best and only way to go and then I change my mind again. I know I could do it, but I just don’t know if I want to do it. It’s kind of like having a migraine headache, and thinking “I could live through this excruciating pain or take some medicine to get rid of it.”
I will admit that I am frustrated with how biased everything is that I read in books and online. I think every single person who I’ve talked to in person that has done both recommends epidural any day. Then I go read stuff and get told all these negative things about any form of medication, and how your baby will nurse better if you have a natural birth and blah blah blah. At first it was motivating me towards going natural, but now I just want to roll my eyes. I hear arguments about how our bodies are meant to handle the pain, and of course millions of women in the past have done it natural because they didn’t have medicine offered. Well people we don’t live “back in the day” and granted we have technology to ease our pain and suffering let’s take advantage of it!
I hope I don’t sound too pessimistic with this whole natural thing. I believe there are some great pros to going natural. I admire and envy the women who choose beforehand to do it and go through with it. When you can afford all the classes and a couple doulas to help you cope with the pain, even better. But I guess, without even realizing it, in writing this post I’ve already come to the conclusion that going “all natural” just isn’t for me. I’ll probably change my mind ten more times before delivery day, but I bet when the contractions start I’ll be screaming “bring on the meds!”
Feel fee to share any thoughts/stories. Initially I was planning to write this specifically for that purpose to help me make up my mind. I would still like to know what people think!
4 comments:
You are so adorable and I really wished we lived by each other. I can only imagine how much time we could spend laughing and chatting. This topic is something I think I have a lot of knowledge on. Now that sounds weird since I don't have kids yet BUT if I had it my way I'd have 4.5 kids by now! I have watched most of my friends go through and endure 3-4 pregnancies each. I have heard the stories over and over again. I am always given advice should the day come that we have one of our own. Anyways. The new craze all my friends are doing is hypno-birthing. I don't know if you have read anything on it, but two of my friends in the last 3 weeks had babies and said it was the best experience ever! Look into it.
Honestly having done both I vote natural. I'm surprised no one else you've spoken with agrees with that. Now that I've had 2 naturally I'll never go back to the epidural (or any other drug for that matter--unless I'm forced to). I could write a book on it...but that's not for this blog post.
Such an fascinating post. I seriously thought about doing hypnobirthing beforehand and even practiced some of the techniques throughout my pregnancy, but when it came down to it, I didn't trust myself enough to do it without meds!
THEN I had such a great epidural experience that I'm not thinking about trying natural anytime soon. It's funny - because I totally loved the cathater! After having to unhook myself from the baby monitoring machines for two days in the hospital EVERY time I needed to use the restroom, I was so happy to drink all the apple juice in the world and not have to move! None of that other stuff bothered me much either.
Lots to think about... I miss you!
You're moving to Arizona? I can't wait to hear the details!
So, I'm not great at giving advice, but here it goes anyway. For me, I was sure I wanted to go natural. I had seen lots of births before and really felt like I could do it. But my body just gave out on me during my labor with Jeffrey and stopped dilating at a 7 for several hours even with my water broken. I started throwing up because I was in so much pain. I think that's what really got me--the throwing up. Then the pain was so bad that I couldn't breathe anymore through the contractions. I still think I could have made it natural if I'd thought that it wouldn't be much longer. . .but I kept thinking that and I never progressed anymore. I was so exhausted I would fall asleep between contractions and then wake up in the middle of the next one not being able to breathe because I hadn't prepared for it. So I finally got the epidural and pitocin and delivered Jeffrey pain free two hours later. For me it was great. Like you I could tell when to push and feel Jeffrey come out but didn't feel myself tearing or anything. I also hemorrhaged after giving birth and had a ton of stitches with Jeffrey and I loved not feeling that. I recovered from the epidural very quickly and could get myself to the bathroom two hours later.
With Amri again I thought I'd try natural. This time I was induced and had several hours of contractions without pain and without progress (I was a 4 when they started the pitocin and still at a 4 several hours later. . again). When they finally broke my water to help me progress things became so painful so fast. I knew I could handle it if it went quickly, and it was, but not fast enough and I started throwing up again when I hit 7 cm. I thought, "Why am I doing this? What's the point in so much pain if I can just avoid it?" So I got the epidural and delivered an hour later with no problems, and again being able to get up just 1-2 hours after giving birth. Both Amri and Jeffrey seemed to have no effects from the medicine. Jeffrey was wide-eyed for hours after being born, and Amri started sucking her fingers within minutes of being born and was a great eater as soon as I latched her on.
So my advice is. . if you want to go natural, go for it. You seem to have a quick labor. But if the pain gets to much and you change your mind, don't feel bad. I've had some friends who've spoken to me like my birth experiences were negative because I had medicine, but honestly I feel every birth experience is sacred and that having the epidurals made it even more so because I could focus on my babies as soon as they were born instead of trying to block out all the pain. I don't regret my decision for the first two at all. Maybe when my body gets the hang of this giving birth thing and stops stalling I'll be able to go natural someday. I'd like to try. But I'm very happy with the way I felt with my first two.
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